Close Encounters of the God Kind

Those that are close to me know that I've been having a rough time with my anxiety attacks since my grandfather passed away in October. I always considered myself to have a strong faith in myself and God even though I didn't attend church every Sunday. Once Pappaw passed away, I noticed that my anxiety came back worse than ever and I started questioning my faith. It resulted in high blood pressure, sleep deprivation, a hospital visit, many doctor's visits, and severe agraphobia (fear of leaving home). I was at my very worst when I forced myself to go to my church. Now, I hadn't been for several years and my anxiety was the highest on that day, but I still forced myself to go. I decided that if church and prayer didn't heal me then nothing else would. I found a family friend which happens to be a minister there before the church service and he asked if it would be okay for himself and another minister to pray over me because I was a complete wreck. Of course looking for any resolution I agreed and prayed with them. The entire sermon at church that Sunday was about having anxiety and depression. After the sermon, I went to the alter and poured my heart out in prayer which I hadn't done since I was 12 yrs. old. All of a sudden, I stopped crying and lifted my head up high as if nothing could stop me. My anxiety completely disappeared and I was healed. In a way, I felt that God had called me to church that day. That was my first close encounter of the God kind.

Due to the recent events at the time, I really questioned the whole idea of Heaven and life after death. So I spoke with my guidance counselor at school and she recommended the book Close Encounters of the God Kind by Jesse Duplantis. This book is about an evangelist's close encounters with God and even recalls a visit to Heaven. Now, if you are a skeptic like I am, you are probably thinking that this guy is a hoax, but after reading the encounter, I realize that anything is possible when you have faith. After reading the book, I still had my doubts so I sought religous counseling from the family friend. He was able to explain life after death according to revelation and gave me another article to read. After reading the book and seeking outside help, I decided to start my own journey of Bible study starting at the beginning with Genesis. I discovered many explanations of things we have today that I would never have known if I hadn't starting my own bible study. One weekend after starting my Bible study, I decided to watch a televised sermon that my church posts online. Amazingly, the sermon was about the parts of Genesis that I had already been studying on my own. I felt empowered knowing that I was familar with the part of the Bible that my pastor was preaching. That was my second encounter of the God kind.

When I felt like my faith was beginning to get renewed and my anxiety was diminishing, I experienced another death in my family. This time, I was not as close to the person, but it still bothered me nonetheless. Bam! Just like getting hit by a car, my demon returns. This time it's not as severe, but is still present in my everyday life. I considered returning to counseling, but decided to rely on my faith instead. Now, grant it, every night I struggle with the fact of not having a guaranteed tomorrow, but I have been relying on reciting a small prayer before falling asleep that makes my anxiety go away. My nighly prayer is yet another close encounter of the God Kind.

5 o'clock this morning, Kaylee was up fussing and was having a hard time going to sleep. Groggy, I went upstairs, rocked her back to sleep, and layed down to put myself back to sleep. I noticed my anxiety was present because my sleep had been interrupted. (Sleep deprivation or interruption causes my anxiety to reek havoc on me). Just then, I hear Kaylee's train make the choo choo noise that can only be activated by pushing a button. Of course, that freaked me out even more because it was something that couldn't be explained. I finally decided to not worry about it and just go back to sleep. First thing this morning, upon awakening, I thought of going to church. When that feeling or urge hits, I do as it says because God is talking with me. I get up, get my coffee, and Kaylee and I make our way to church. The last time I had been was in December so naturally my anxiety reared its ugly face. I stood strong with my head held high as I made my way to church. After being there for about 15 minutes, my anxiety disappeared and Kaylee and I enjoyed being there. The sermon today was about having faith and getting rid of the fear of dying. It's amazing how God's calling to church was exactly about what I have been experiencing in my life. That was another close encounter of the God kind.

So now, as I get home, I think back to my unexplained encounter this morning and I remember one of Jesse Duplantis's encounters he describes in the book. Jesse had prayed that God would show Himself to him so that he could strengthen his faith. That night, Jesse felt a strong presence in his house and the curtains blew with an unhuman strength. Naturally, Jesse was scared to open his eyes, but he knew that God was showing Himself to Jesse. Now, I did not pray for God to show Himself to me, but I wonder if that was either God himself or one of his angels showing me that He was there with me and everything would be okay? After that happened my anxiety disappeared and I went back to sleep.

Now, skeptics would say that it's all a matter of coincidences occurring at the same time, but I know that a higher power is at work with me. After sharing my story, I will leave you with my daily horoscope for the day:

"With every step you take today, you are approaching a major turning point, so you've got to be primed and ready to act when you see a great opportunity heading your way. Changes can happen at any time in your life -- if you are ready and waiting for them. It might not be comfortable for you to act quickly at first, but eventually you will get into the excitement and enjoy the unpredictability of it all. You'll never feel more in charge of your life than you do today."

Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

Turning Point

This weekend has been a perfect weekend with my family. The weather was beautiful where we could enjoy spending time outside. Taking advantage of the 70s, we decided to grill out steaks, shrimp, and baked potatoes. Needless to say, my gourmet chef spoils us and is always taking on a new challenge. His new challenge was shrimp and it turned out delicious.

This weekend was also an engagement celebration for my best friend of 12 yrs. I was so excited to have the opportunity to spend time with my friends from high school. Little did I know, that it was going to be an eye opening experience. Out of the four of us, I am the only one that has a child. I went out to Longhorn steakhouse and enjoyed an appetizer since Greg was grilling out at home. The entire time I was with them, I felt completely disconnected. I know being a mommy changes EVERYTHING in your life, but I really hadn't seen the effects with my friends until now. They are talking about spending $150 on haircuts, going out on weekdays, and any drama between friendships. The whole time I'm thinking, I spend my time by singing ABCs, playing with toys, and simply relaxing at home with my family. After the short time with my friends, I realized that I need friends that have kids that I can relate to.

This weekend was also a turning point for Greg. After many attempts to finance school, he realized that being a pilot really isn't where his heart is. I discovered on Thursday that he has always wanted to be a firefighter even though the pay is a lot lower than a pilot. He finally admitted that he is happy how we're living now and he wouldn't mind trying out for the fire department here. Looking into it further, I found out that right now, the fire department is beginning their hiring process. So the next step is to fill out the application and go to the orientation meetings in April and then take the written/physical exams in June. So we'll see where out next adventure takes us!