Soul Searching

For the past two months, I have been a completely different person that's been having a rough time. Grant it, my problems are miniscule compared to others, but to me they seemed completely overwhelming. Throughout my entire life, I have experienced panic/anxiety attacks due to being clostrophobic, driving on the interstate, a fear of death, and just a fear of being alone. After the passing of my grandfather, my anxiety attacks decided to rear it's ugly face again. They began slowly (usually when rocking Kaylee to sleep) and progressed to where it started taking over my life. I was scared to go to sleep, drive down the road, be at home alone because I was afraid I was going to die. Now, you might think that is silly for me to worry about, but for me it has been a reality. It got so bad that my blood pressure became a concern and I wound up in the hospital a few weeks ago. Now, I am taking anxiety medicine everyday to help keep my mind at bay. At first, it caused me to hit rock bottom because I was scared to death to take the medicine and worried that something bad was going to happen. Now, I have been taking the medicine for a week and a half, going to counseling, and finally am starting to feel like me again with the exception of going to bed incredibly early. However, I still have the worry in the back of my mind. Why is that? What can I do to help myself come to peace? One suggestion by my counselor is to start writing about my feelings to relieve my worries which is what I am starting now. If you have any other suggestions, let me know.